Freedom From Judgement

In my last blog, I discussed how some religions practiced in America can cause women to restrict their rights, and whether or not non-members of that religion are justified in judging that religion based on the fact that the beliefs held by members of that religion restrict women's rights. One example of a religion that is practiced in America and can cause women to restrict their rights is Islam.

Americans value freedom almost more than anything. Due to this, I would speculate that to many non-Muslim Americans, a lot of Shariah (Islamic Law) regarding women may seem to infringe on things that they consider  to be every Americans right.  Such as the ability to wear what you want (freedom of expression), being allowed to drive a car, and being able to leave the house or seek employment without having to first be given permission by your husband. Non-Islamic people may wonder if women could really be happy under these laws.

This brings to mind an article in the New York Times that I read a while back. It's the story of a girl named Tharima who organizes an all girl prom for the Muslim girls at her school because following Shariah they aren't allowed to go to their school's boy/girl prom. Tharima's hard work payed off and her dream became a reality; the prom was a success. What is important to remember from this story is that (as far as I can tell) Tharima's dream was not to go to the boy/girl prom. She chose to do prom her way, and a way that would follow the guidelines of her religion.

Tharima setting up for prom night

At this point reader, you may be conflicted. On one hand, people's rights are restricted which conflicts with many Americans strong sense of freedom. On the other hand, it seems that many of the American women whose rights are restricted consider those rules part of being a faithful and moral person and are also happy living their lives according to these religious guidelines.

Although it may seem contradictory I would argue that restricting your own rights is an example of true freedom. People should have the freedom to not express their freedoms if they don't want to. And I'm not only talking about legal freedom, I'm talking about social freedom as well. I'm talking about not judging someone just because they chose to wear Hijab or go to an all girl prom. Everyone knows that in America you legally have the freedom to be part of any religion but I wonder if people of different religions feel equally free. Some people may think that if you have to dress a certain way according to a religion then you're not very American because you aren't expressing your freedom. I would argue that the only thing that would make someone feel not American is the judgement received from these types of people: people who misinterpret the meaning of freedom.

Lastly, I would like to add that because religion is a sensitive subject, I hope I did not offend anyone in this blog. If I have, please let me know. Addationally, I would like to make clear that I am only talking about religious freedom in the context of American society, not on a global scale. I also admit to not being as knowledgeable as maybe I should be to discuss this subject, considering the fact that I am neither a Muslim or a member of the particular branch of Christianity that the couple getting married in my last blog are a part of.

I Now Pronounce You Lord and Follower

While attending a recent wedding, the minister had some “advice” for the newlyweds (particularly the wife) which came as a bit of a surprise to me. He said that by getting married she consequently accepted, “her duty to submit”. He went on to say that she must only focus on her husbands positive qualities and never his negative ones. His advice to the husband was to be a strong leader and love his wife. To emphasize these points he used this passage from the bible.

All of this was a shock to me, but what was the most jarring was the idea that women should submit to their husbands as they “do to the Lord”. This seems to imply that women should treat their husbands as if they were their God. I think it can be assumed that most Christian people believe that their God is right in everything that she/he does. This would mean that the husband would be justified in everything that he did, no matter what it was.




I feel as though this man’s purpose in telling this couple what it meant to be married was to establish gender roles. Not only that, but to actually argue that these gender roles are “God’s will”. My initial reaction to all this was disbelief, coupled with disapproval. But then, I looked at the couple actually getting married.

Both husband and wife had smiles across their blushing faces as they stood together. They seemed completely happy and content with the ceremony and obviously cared about each other deeply. So although to me it seemed that this woman’s natural born rights as an equal human being were being infringed upon, and that she was being told that her duty in life was submission and servitude, maybe the couple getting married doesn’t see it as harshly as that. Maybe, the couple getting married actually finds comfort in these gender roles. Who am I to judge how people wish to live their lives? Maybe, it comforts the woman to know that her husband will be “the man of the house” and will be able to guide them through life.

As someone who cares both about religion and human rights issues deeply, this question, of whether or not it is ok for religions to establish gender roles and cause inequality, is one that has caused me a great deal of thought. Can we even say that people’s rights are being restricted if they themselves are voluntarily restricting them? Do non-members of a religion really have the right to judge what members of a religion consider to be their morals?